10 basic tips to improve your relationship with your partner

There is no universal formula or theory regarding durable unions. But there are certain keys that every couple who wants to endure should respect. Almost all books on couples that work, written by psychologists and marriage counselors, end up citing a number of essential ingredients in them. We summarize these factors in ten keys that every couple should comply with if they want to survive the passing of the years and the routine.
Knowing if you and your current partner meet the majority or fail in many of these pillars, will allow you to make a future forecast about your relationship and remedy it if you still have time.

1. Communication: the star ingredient

Although you have heard it a thousand times, it is still true. It is impossible for a couple to function or for both members to feel happy with the relationship if there is no good communication between them.
But communicating does not refer to talking a lot, but to being able to express our feelings, concerns, projects… to our partner, and to obtain “feedback” from them. If there is good communication, it is easy to solve the problems that arise.

2. Listening: the other side of the coin

It is as important as being able to speak and communicate. If you talk non-stop but when he wants to tell you something about him (even about football!) You immediately change the subject, you are missing a very important point. And it is not about keeping quiet and hearing what the other says, but about listening to them and trying to understand them.
Your partner should know that he can tell you anything because you are going to give him your full attention. Knowing how to listen to you will help you to communicate better, create special bonds of complicity between you, and know what the other wants, what he needs, or what worries him.

3. Be understanding: put yourself in their place

Before judging a situation, no matter how serious or absurd it may seem to you, try to put yourself in their place, try to find out how they feel, how they think, why they have behaved like this. No one is ever absolutely right and there are always many versions of the same story.
Your partner cannot and should not behave the same as you; getting angry at everything he does without trying to understand him or trying to change him is a mistake. Although you must have a certain affinity, you do not have to think the same. Understanding this will help you to be much more understanding of each other, more tolerant, and fair.

4. Tolerance: freedom well understood

You must be tolerant with your partner as long as his behavior or attitude is honest or does not hurt you physically or emotionally. This is one of the most difficult points to carry out, since normally, even if we want it for ourselves, it is very difficult for us to give our partner freedom. Each member of the couple has the right to their moments of independence and intimacy, to develop their projects, hobbies, or illusions without feeling constrained by the other.
Although it may seem otherwise, controlling your partner, wanting to always be with her, or forbidding her to do certain things simply because of insecurity, is the thing that can keep you from her the most. A couple is not a contract of slavery but of collaboration. The most generous and beneficial posture for the relationship is to support the couple in a constructive way in their individual development.

5. Personal development, not functional

It is very important to understand that even if you are a couple, you are still independent people, with a personality and a life of your own. You must mature and develop individually so that there is a balance in the couple; neither should live in the shadow of the other or be totally dependent on him. Of course, this development must be parallel to your development and maturity as a couple.
To achieve this, it is essential that you have common goals in life: home, work, children, travel, life as a couple, etc. In addition, it is important that you feel that there is a type of union between you that goes beyond the material, a spiritual connection, a common way of feeling life and relationship. At first infatuation and passion provide this special union; then something else is needed.
This will allow you to avoid an imbalance between your individual and common interests.

6. Have a social life

Although at first you just want to be together and alone, it is essential that you have a social life. This means that you have mutual friends with whom you can make plans. This can also be extended to the family.
Going out and having fun together will make you feel good and will add a pinch of excitement to your life as a couple. Social life also refers, of course, to what each of you has on your own.
It is important that both of you can continue to enjoy your own friends alone, of course, in an honest and healthy way. For this, it is essential to have confidence in the partner, the next point on the list.

7. Trust: avoid heartbreak

A relationship without mutual trust is going nowhere. Not a blind trust but a rational one. If we have no real or proven reason to distrust, overwhelming our partner with our fears or insecurities will separate them from us. Lack of trust strains relationships and makes coexistence difficult.
The one who is the object of suspicion or harassment usually ends up falling out of love because the attitude of his partner prevents him from enjoying the simplest things; In order not to create uncomfortable situations, he ends up giving up many things. But the person who distrusts also suffers a lot and can easily go from love to obsession. The solution to this problem is through communication.

8. Affection: after the passion

It is essential for a relationship to survive. Lack of affection usually ends with many couples. Affection is the demonstration of love, essential once infatuation and passion begin to decline.
It is very important to always have a loving attitude towards our partner and show them affection even though you have been together for a long time. Not feeling loved is one of the main complaints of women.
Affection is something that must be taken care of every day since it is what is most easily lost with time and routine. You know your partner so much that you don’t think they need your pampering and caresses. If we do not receive affection, we must let our partner know to see if it is a matter of carelessness or there is a deeper cause.

9. Sex: the salt of the relationship

Sex working is a great plus for a relationship to last, but it should not be everything. If you only meet to have sex, it is difficult for your relationship to reach something more.
It is important that you both enjoy sex and take the initiative when it comes to having sex. Sex, like affection, must also be taken care of, not becoming comfortable with the passage of time.
Tiredness, stress, children, and worries take their toll on many couples’ sex lives. When the desire is inhibited you have to look for it and promote it, maintaining an active sexual life is a job and a matter of both.

10. Love: knowing how to give and receive You

Also, learn to love. In fact, it is a mature act and can be very conscious. In almost all couples there is usually one who plays the role of lover and another that of loved one. It is very comfortable to let yourself be loved, but it is not always the position that makes us the happiest in a relationship.
It is just as important that our partner tells us that he loves us, as we can. There are people who have an enormous capacity to love and give themselves and others who find it so difficult that they end up failing in their relationships even though they love the other person.

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